last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up
they say milk helps babies grow but ive poured 3 cartons of it over this baby and so far all it has done is cry
sometimes i feel bad about not accomplishing anything but then I remember that one time I saved all of china. well, actually that was mulan. but i watched her do it and made some really sick popcorn
The only thing better than someone saying nice things to you is someone telling you nice things other people have said about you while you weren’t around
"yeah, everything’s fine, i just tucked your kid into bed. but can i cover up the clown statue in the corner? it’s freaking me out"
"what? we dont have a kid. take our clown statue and get out of the house right now"
I have just changed my page name from hardeehar to the funny. Do not be alarmed. ;) This is quite possibly temporary as I have a tendency to change my mind extremely often. Good day.
*takes off shirt in front of girl* you like this? i got this pink line from sitting down for a long time. sometimes i get two lines.